Alien: Earth – Episode Seven

Well, I wasn’t going to do single episode reviews for this show, but here we are. This one is going to be a bit of a rant because this show just jumped the shark. To be fair, it jumped the shark in episode two but I was willing to give it another chance. Now it’s playing pat-a-cake with Cthulhu. I’m not sure if this episode was as terrible as it felt or if it was just the straw the broke the camels back. There is only so much stupid I can deal with and I regularly watch B-Movie horror films. Last October I reviewed “Bad CGI Gator”. I can handle stupid. But there has to be limits. This is the dumbest episode of the series so far and one of the most disappointing. Of course we get some “Xenomorph” kills and a chest burst scene so some people will give it a pass I’m sure.

The Idiot Olympics

This episode killed off my interest in two out of three of the characters I previously found worth watching. Morrow is now just an idiot. Kirsh meanwhile lost all his mystery and it turns out he just manages situations by letting them get as out of control and have as high a body count as possible and then wrap it up at the last possible moment. That’s not a good management style! He may be the dumbest character of all. He’s only a step ahead of Morrow because he has access to the android hybrids sensory information and Morrow is too stupid to realize this. If you’ve been following, you’ll know the third of those characters and now the only one I’m interested in is the eyeball squid. This is where I’m at now with this show.

It’s easy to forget that Kirsh is actually meant to be the head scientist, not security chief. So why does he seem to be in charge of managing the security of the island, even down to being able to let these situations get wildly out of control so he can pull a trap that relies on Morrow being a complete tool. The actual security chief seems to be completely out of the loop of everything that actually involves security. Instead it seems to be running human resources. And that was one other character I was warming to. Nope, another idiot. Still, Morrow takes the cake for stupidity. His plan involved hoping a chestburster didn’t burst, having no plan to recover it if it did and then just marching straight in through the front door of the facility with only two troops supporting him, directly into an obvious kill zone.

My Pet Alien

Sadly, the stupidity doesn’t end there. All the hybrid androids are so incredibly stupid that I want to see them get wiped out. Especially Wendy, who is a complete sociopath. Now though, she’s a sociopath with the magic power of controlling “Xenomorphs” and despite my past speculation, the reason for this ability seems to be “Because we thought it’d be cool”. It isn’t. It takes the agency from the aliens themselves, making them pointless. That they can even be controlled, especially by some random android with the mind of a child, ruins them. They made a conscious decision to move the iconic aliens from “Scary” to “Cute”. That sums up this series really. You don’t need to fear the Aliens, you need to fear Wendy and Nibs.

In the previous episode the “Clever” people in charge decided that wiping Nibs memory of her psychotic breakdown would make everything okay. They didn’t bother to tell any of the other kids. They didn’t think that huge multi-day gap in her memory would be noticed (Including not know who Joe is, or the where the aliens came from). Nibs is clearly psychotic, but Wendy decided of all the kids she was the one that needed to be in the outside world She didn’t even look for Slightly and Smee. But then, Wendy is just as bad as Nibs. She happily releases her pet “Xenomorph” to kill innocent lab workers so that she can later use it to kill anyone else in her path. This is not a “Good” character.

The Hierarchy of Intelligence

Our one remaining good guy, the damp behind the ears Joe finally develops a character trait beyond protecting his “Sister”. But it’s nothing deeper than a basic regard for human life. This was enough to put him at odds with his sister however. Joe finally stands up to her blood lust and she acts with shock and revulsion, like he is the villain. This brings me to one of the make or break questions of the show. Do the show runners realize Wendy is a villain? We won’t find out until the final episode and honestly I’m not sure which way it’ll go. We may also find out if there is any believable reason for her magic powers. I’m guessing no to that one.

The one character left that is interesting is eyeball squid. It’s painfully obvious Kavalier wants to put the squid on Joe. I still think he’s destined to get it himself. That is a scene I am looking forward to in the finale. Kavalier is also an idiot, but that’s his character arc. He is destined to be a victim of his own hubris and that is fine. Right now the smartest character on this show is Eyeball Squid, followed by the various bug aliens, then probably the plant pod, who is still do contribute anything. The “Xenomorph’s” come in last among the creatures, but still ahead of the humans. I am starting to wonder if this show is actually set in the Idiocracy universe.

The Downward Spiral

Before I get to my verdict, were there any positives? The pace in this episode was good. Quite a lot happened (Even if most of it was stupid). As I mentioned, Joe finally got some character development. We did get “Xenomorph” action That’s it, but the action wasn’t great. For the third episode in a row they casually called the aliens “Xenomorphs”. There’s no getting around it, they’ve canonized a fan misinterpretation of a line from Aliens. They also started to refer to Synthetics as “Synths”, which isn’t a canon violation or anything, but does make the dialogue sound more like “Fallout” than “Aliens” (Where they said “Synthetic” or “Android”). Oh and there continues to be no reason for this show to be prequel.

So what’s the verdict? Well you can tell from the ranting that I was not a fan of this one. I know some people don’t mind a plot that requires total stupidity from everyone involved for it to work. I also know most people don’t really care about how the show impacts the larger franchise. That kind of thing is only important to those nerdy enough to re-watch an entire franchise. That’s me. I’m nerdy enough. So I want every entry in a franchise to be complementary and not contrary. I’m giving this episode a 4/10 and reducing the series rating to a 5/10. Recommendation rescinded! The show has one last chance to win me over. Can it do it?

Rating: 5 out of 10.

Alien: Earth (2025) Episodes 1-3

While I don’t normally review TV shows, I simply have too much to say about the new Disney Plus Alien franchise show from Noah Hawley, to just let it slide. So this will be a discussion and review of the firsts three episodes. I may do an update after episodes 4-6 have landed. This will have spoilers, but nothing major (Because there isn’t really anything major to spoil yet).

Alien: Earth is the tenth and latest live action entry in the Aliens franchise (Including the two Predator crossover movies). This is a franchise that really doesn’t feel like it’s on it’s tenth entry, but it’s worth noting that SIX of these entries are prequels. Five entries are set before the original Alien movie and one is set in between that and it’s sequel, Aliens. To be fair, two are the Predator crossovers and those are very much in a different continuity (Especially since Xenomorphs shouldn’t exist before the events of Prometheus). However we still have four prequels and the issue that the franchise hasn’t actually moved forward in time since “Alien Resurrection” in 1997. Ridley Scott’s prequels at least had a reason to be prequels.

Synopsis

So following on from the mild box office success and equally mild viewer disappointment of “Alien:Romulus” (Set between Alien and Aliens), we have another prequel. This time set before any of the main series films, including the original. Technically this TV show is the follow up to Alien: Covenant (Set 16 years after the events in that film). The story begins with a Weyland-Yutani space ship crashing down to Earth after the dangerous alien lifeforms it was transporting for study break out of containment and cause havoc. The vessel crashes into a territory controlled by a rival corporation, immediately causing a conflict.

The rival corporation, “Prodigy” (A bit of an on-the-nose name for a new corporation created by a child prodigy), seems to be primarily interested in creating androids with human consciousness. Their technology limits them to working with children and so they take terminally ill children and effectively grant them immortality by giving them adult android bodies. Sticking with the painfully on-the-nose theme, their research center is called “Neverland” and the first child transferred to an android is named “Wendy” (Sydney Chandler). Of course the story of Peter Pan was about children not wanting to become adults, while here the children are forced into adulthood early and for all eternity. But no doubt they thought they were being clever with the reference.

The Global Mega Corporations

It’s worth noting the Weyland-Yutani Corporation has a very minimal presence in this story despite it being their space craft. The focus is far more on the new Prodigy corporation invented for this show. This of course gives the writers a chance to explore new ideas without impacting canon too much. However it must be noted, it does still impact canon and they would have had far more freedom had they simply not made this a prequel. So while the movies focus on Weyland-Yutani’s story, the awkwardly named “New” corporation will now have a retrospective presence throughout the first four Alien films and Romulus.

It’s also worth noting that the exposition thrown in to the opening scene is an major lore change for the Aliens universe. Previously while corporations were obviously powerful and dangerous in this universe, the Earth wasn’t ruled by “The five mega-corporations”. This is a new (Somewhat generic) Dystopian addition to the lore of the universe and it does significantly re-frame the previous movies. Now the blue collar crew of the Nostromo were never just regular working people, they were people oppressed by a mega corporation that routinely sacrificed human life for the corporate good. In that regard the actions of their android Ash are no longer surprising in any way.

Aesthetics

Exposition dump and lore change aside, the opening scene of the first episode is actually a high point. The scene displays the effort that has gone into set design and wardrobe. This pairs off well with a soundtrack clearly inspired by the original Alien. This was a very good start even if I found the exposition a bit too obviously. I also noticed the “One of everything” diversity in the casting, this is present throughout the show. Not a deal breaker for sure, but even in the future it seems unlikely every group of people will have an exact balance of gender and ethnicity. Overall the opening was good up until the point the Xenomorph appeared. The problem here was it really moved like a human being and looked non-organic.

Now I am fairly certain this is a CGI alien, so the movement must come from the motion capture and it’s odd how they must have gone to a lot of effort to have the Alien totally fail to move in an alien like manner. Why even do motion capture for such a creature? The fact that when you see the Alien up close it looks like it’s made of rubber and the end result if you have a CGI Xenomorph that looks like a dude in a rubber suit. Not good. He brute forces his way around the place like Jason Voorheese. It is rare in this show (So far) that the Alien actually acts like the Alien monsters we know.

Creatures and Characters

What does add some welcome variety to the show though is the presence of additional aliens and for me, while their CGI effects are also somewhat lacking, they are the most interesting aspect of this show. Outside of the Engineers and proto-xenomorphs, we haven’t seen other alien lifeforms in the Aliens series. It’s also not something that is likely to damage canon . I especially liked the Eyeball Squid thing that pops up in episode two. It’s worth noting though none of these creatures are very much sidelined in the story. By the third episode it seems their role may even be totally done with for the series now. If that is the case, that would be a waste.

Character wise I am only really interested in Timothy Olyphant android scientist and Babou Ceesay cyborg (And sole agent for Weyland-Yutani). I don’t find the human children in android bodies at all interesting, nor do I care about Wendy and her still human brother Joseph. Those two are meant to be the shows protagonists but they have very little chemistry or conflict (With Joe accepting Wendy as his sister very quickly). They are both fairly bland characters with little in the way of agency outside of Wendy’s desire to reunite with and protect her brother. I find the whole idea of having android’s with human consciousness as your primary focus a bad idea as it essentially turns this into superheroes vs Aliens.

Superheroes Vs Aliens

The biggest problem with the show is there are no real stakes. As a result there is little to actually generate fear or tension. The show has to entirely rely on the atmosphere it can generate with the aesthetic because they neutered the story. As a prequel, we know this isn’t the end for The Earth. Indeed we know that it had so little impact that Ripley and friends had no knowledge of the incident. This leaves the show caught between plot holes and being too neatly wrapped up. Neither is good. But add to that how most of the people now facing the Aliens are superhuman android hybrids and we have very little actual threat at all. This reduces tension and fear. Last but not least, I simply don’t care about these characters. All I have left is enjoying the aesthetics.

The first episode featured most of the good material so far. I was dazzled by the set design. The hybrid android stuff dragged the pace and the episode felt generally slow, but it was a solid start. The Xenomorph was a bit strange, but at least we got to see it. The second episode was a step down. Directing became sloppy and the Alien continued to look and act wrong. A couple of good scenes avoided total disaster, but overall it was disappointing. Episode three improved marginally and we actually got a lot of character development. But it also had a Xenomorph dealt with far too easily and totally off screen. The creature is still moving like a guy doing motion capture. Most annoyingly though, just as it was looking like things were going to really kick off, instead they hit a reset button and slowed things down again.

Conclusion

It’s now clear these first three episodes are effectively a prologue. Which means the pace is very unlikely to pick up. Alien: Earth is a mixed bag. They have definitely got some things right, but they got a lot wrong too. The pacing is a big issue, but somewhat expected as a TV series. A larger problem is the decision to make this a prequel. “Alien Resurrection”, which is still the last Alien film continuity-wise, ended with a ship with Aliens on crashing to Earth. This series could have been a direct follow up to that with only minimal changes. Instead they made it a prequel and that seems to add nothing of value while making almost every creative event in the show a canon violation, many of which will be deal breakers for fans.

The one thing I can never accept is when a new franchise entry does something that diminishes the original and most loved films. Those original franchise entries that everything else is built on top of. This show appears to do that. But we won’t really know how bad until it is over. For now it is just above the line where I am willing to stick with it. The set design is great. The world building is interesting, though often feels like a different science fiction series and not Alien (It’s very Cyberpunk). That world building also becomes a negative when it messes with canon. By episode three the characters are actually starting to develop some personality, though I can’t say I like them just yet.

Ratings and Recommendation

In my view if you are a more casual fan, you may well enjoy this show. Providing you don’t mind the slow pace. If you are a big Aliens fan though, you may want to hold off for a bit until the series is all available. Then we can assess just how badly it violates canon and if the Xenomorphs finally start acting more like the cunning, stealthy monsters they are. My ratings for the episodes so far:

Episode One6.5/10 – Mostly good due to the aesthetics, but some questionable effects, plot choices and pace.
Episode Two5.5/10 – Sloppy Seconds, still slow, but getting goofy in places too. Cool eyeball squid though. Lots of gore.
Episode Three6/10 – Disappointing fight between android and Alien concluding off screen. The show is getting even slower, but at least the characters are showing some personality.


Series Average = 6/10 – Slow and inconsistent with major canon issues. However excellent set designs and aesthetics and a plot that I am at least curious to see where it goes will keep me watching… for now.

Check out my review of episodes 4-6

Rating: 6 out of 10.