Well, I wasn’t going to do single episode reviews for this show, but here we are. This one is going to be a bit of a rant because this show just jumped the shark. To be fair, it jumped the shark in episode two but I was willing to give it another chance. Now it’s playing pat-a-cake with Cthulhu. I’m not sure if this episode was as terrible as it felt or if it was just the straw the broke the camels back. There is only so much stupid I can deal with and I regularly watch B-Movie horror films. Last October I reviewed “Bad CGI Gator”. I can handle stupid. But there has to be limits. This is the dumbest episode of the series so far and one of the most disappointing. Of course we get some “Xenomorph” kills and a chest burst scene so some people will give it a pass I’m sure.
The Idiot Olympics
This episode killed off my interest in two out of three of the characters I previously found worth watching. Morrow is now just an idiot. Kirsh meanwhile lost all his mystery and it turns out he just manages situations by letting them get as out of control and have as high a body count as possible and then wrap it up at the last possible moment. That’s not a good management style! He may be the dumbest character of all. He’s only a step ahead of Morrow because he has access to the android hybrids sensory information and Morrow is too stupid to realize this. If you’ve been following, you’ll know the third of those characters and now the only one I’m interested in is the eyeball squid. This is where I’m at now with this show.
It’s easy to forget that Kirsh is actually meant to be the head scientist, not security chief. So why does he seem to be in charge of managing the security of the island, even down to being able to let these situations get wildly out of control so he can pull a trap that relies on Morrow being a complete tool. The actual security chief seems to be completely out of the loop of everything that actually involves security. Instead it seems to be running human resources. And that was one other character I was warming to. Nope, another idiot. Still, Morrow takes the cake for stupidity. His plan involved hoping a chestburster didn’t burst, having no plan to recover it if it did and then just marching straight in through the front door of the facility with only two troops supporting him, directly into an obvious kill zone.
My Pet Alien
Sadly, the stupidity doesn’t end there. All the hybrid androids are so incredibly stupid that I want to see them get wiped out. Especially Wendy, who is a complete sociopath. Now though, she’s a sociopath with the magic power of controlling “Xenomorphs” and despite my past speculation, the reason for this ability seems to be “Because we thought it’d be cool”. It isn’t. It takes the agency from the aliens themselves, making them pointless. That they can even be controlled, especially by some random android with the mind of a child, ruins them. They made a conscious decision to move the iconic aliens from “Scary” to “Cute”. That sums up this series really. You don’t need to fear the Aliens, you need to fear Wendy and Nibs.
In the previous episode the “Clever” people in charge decided that wiping Nibs memory of her psychotic breakdown would make everything okay. They didn’t bother to tell any of the other kids. They didn’t think that huge multi-day gap in her memory would be noticed (Including not know who Joe is, or the where the aliens came from). Nibs is clearly psychotic, but Wendy decided of all the kids she was the one that needed to be in the outside world She didn’t even look for Slightly and Smee. But then, Wendy is just as bad as Nibs. She happily releases her pet “Xenomorph” to kill innocent lab workers so that she can later use it to kill anyone else in her path. This is not a “Good” character.
The Hierarchy of Intelligence
Our one remaining good guy, the damp behind the ears Joe finally develops a character trait beyond protecting his “Sister”. But it’s nothing deeper than a basic regard for human life. This was enough to put him at odds with his sister however. Joe finally stands up to her blood lust and she acts with shock and revulsion, like he is the villain. This brings me to one of the make or break questions of the show. Do the show runners realize Wendy is a villain? We won’t find out until the final episode and honestly I’m not sure which way it’ll go. We may also find out if there is any believable reason for her magic powers. I’m guessing no to that one.
The one character left that is interesting is eyeball squid. It’s painfully obvious Kavalier wants to put the squid on Joe. I still think he’s destined to get it himself. That is a scene I am looking forward to in the finale. Kavalier is also an idiot, but that’s his character arc. He is destined to be a victim of his own hubris and that is fine. Right now the smartest character on this show is Eyeball Squid, followed by the various bug aliens, then probably the plant pod, who is still do contribute anything. The “Xenomorph’s” come in last among the creatures, but still ahead of the humans. I am starting to wonder if this show is actually set in the Idiocracy universe.
The Downward Spiral
Before I get to my verdict, were there any positives? The pace in this episode was good. Quite a lot happened (Even if most of it was stupid). As I mentioned, Joe finally got some character development. We did get “Xenomorph” action That’s it, but the action wasn’t great. For the third episode in a row they casually called the aliens “Xenomorphs”. There’s no getting around it, they’ve canonized a fan misinterpretation of a line from Aliens. They also started to refer to Synthetics as “Synths”, which isn’t a canon violation or anything, but does make the dialogue sound more like “Fallout” than “Aliens” (Where they said “Synthetic” or “Android”). Oh and there continues to be no reason for this show to be prequel.
So what’s the verdict? Well you can tell from the ranting that I was not a fan of this one. I know some people don’t mind a plot that requires total stupidity from everyone involved for it to work. I also know most people don’t really care about how the show impacts the larger franchise. That kind of thing is only important to those nerdy enough to re-watch an entire franchise. That’s me. I’m nerdy enough. So I want every entry in a franchise to be complementary and not contrary. I’m giving this episode a 4/10 and reducing the series rating to a 5/10. Recommendation rescinded! The show has one last chance to win me over. Can it do it?